Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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