I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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