plz talk dirty to me
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
