i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
