If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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