not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
