Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
