dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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