I wanna bring you to show and tell
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
