That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Apparently you make a good broom.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I am spending my child support on dildos
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
