Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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