i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize