ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
