based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
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It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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