..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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