Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
