Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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