its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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