this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
