Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
God I need to hump something, right now.
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