yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
