I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
