So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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