Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I will pee on everything he values.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
