38 yer olds are good kisserssss
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
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