Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
