let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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