I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
