i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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