just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
