i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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