when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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