I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You were trust falling into bushes
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