I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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