We're like a lot better than the average bears
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
