Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
