he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
