You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
if only i could text you this smell
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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