of course. lets lasso hookers.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
