and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
it's like iHOP with fire
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
