: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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