He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
