I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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