Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
