So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
