remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
May the power of my ass compel you!!
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
