you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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