you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
