I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Randomize
