The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
high people should be assigned attendants
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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