i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
