Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
