I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
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