Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
