I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
