fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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