your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
