I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
