didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize