you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
My penis needs a shock collar
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
