Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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