I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize