The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
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Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
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it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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