dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
