ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
