is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
