I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
